fit

Punching Back

Last weekend at our 12WBT party, they played a video.
It was a 2 minute montage type thing with Michelle Bridges doing a voiceover, kind of spruiking the 12WBT program and who Mish is and all that.
There were a couple of quotes from it that I really loved, namely:
"In order to be successful, you need to dig deep", and
"Whenever I've had drama in my life, my exercise has been my rock".

I had a couple of days rest on Sunday and Monday - I was exhausted and needed to regroup. I'd bought these, and they quite appropriately, finally arrived...


I had no idea that I was going to need them.

Then on Tuesday, I was on my way to the gym after work when I called my mum.
She put me on to pop and I found out that he's quite unwell.
My pop and I are VERY close and the idea of the possibility or losing him is too much for me.
I will spare you the long and drawn out details, but I crumpled, made a beeline for the train station and went home to cry.
Suddenly, I'd found myself unwittingly in the middle of a boxing match, my emotions and I going round for round.

Wednesday to Friday I decided I was going to JFDI and made it to the gym every day.
I struggled with it, my head and heart weren't in it and even though I was pushing past my 500 calories, I wasn't getting that euphoric I usually do.

By Saturday morning, I was a few rounds into that boxing match, and a bit worse for wear, with two black eyes and almost ready to throw in the towel.
I called my pop to see how he was feeling.
He told me he'd just got home from being in emergency since 3am because he couldn't breathe and was sure that was it for him. 
And that right there was the king punch you see in the movies, the one that hits so hard that the hero goes flying in the air in slow motion, all teeth and spittle and blood and bruising.
That was the hit that either makes or breaks the hero.

So what did I do?
I called my mum for her verdict. She told me not to worry, I still did.
I told Josh I was fine, and to just go to work (he didn't beleive me).
I took a deep breath and packed my bag. I needed a distration.
I went to the gym and I burned 1200 calories.
(and then I baked for 6 hours to distract my mind. Everyone I know is getting well fed this week)

Sunday - ding ding ding - next round.
I woke up at 8:30 and laid in bed for an hour and a half just thinking.
Bad move.
I was a little battered and bruised by the time Josh dragged me from bed, but I half heartedly packed my gym bag thinking I might go to the gym after I got up for breakfast (brunch by that time).
I walked into the gym, and I ugly cried the entire way.
I'm not talking those delicate little lady sobs. No, I'm talking big, heaving, can barely breathe through the pain type wailing.
I spent a good deal of the walk telling myself to stop it and trying to hide my face from passing traffic.
By the time I reached the gym, I'd had a text from mum that pop's breathing was much better and he hadn't been in pain, he'd slept well and been up to visit her for a coffee and he was WELL - that news set off a whole new chain of tears.
The combination of all of the emotion I'd been feeling, letting go of and holding on to, meant I was ready to work out.
And I did.



Yesterday I went up a level in all of my cardio work, another 10kg on my leg presses, another 5 on my shoulders and lats, smashed my abs and dropped 5kg from my assisted chin ups and 10kg from my assisted pull ups.

This morning, still feeling the sting of the past week's events, still feeling the fear of what the outcome of all this could be, was the first morning in over a week that I woke up and just knew I'd be going to the gym tonight.
I'd be doing my workout I'd be feeling pretty good by the end of it.
I'd like to think that was the KO punch, but I know how emotions work and I know that no matter what, they'll just keep getting up.
They'll never be down for the count.
I guess what I didn't count on was that I won't either.

I'll admit that on Tuesday night I did just want to eat crap and drink hard liquor and cry and sleep for days - I'm still human and I'm still Skye, that doesn't change.
But mostly, I've just thought I need to get through this, the pain, the fear, the hardship.
And I realised that that's what Mish meant.
That's where the parallels of training and life lie - you need dig deep and get through the pain and become stronger and better for it.
That's where you find your success.

xxx
SJ

Shooting Goals

The time has come to set my goals for Round 2 of the 12WBT.
We're fully into pre-season and we've been asked to put our goals and commitments down, and I've thought about it, I've written them down and I've put put them away to check back on at week 4.
Here's a run down of what I will achieve before the 25th of August this year, when round two ends:

- I've got about 5kg to drop before I'm at goal. I'm 174cm tall, so I don't want to be a size 6, I'd look unheathy and waifish. I'm already in a healthy weight range, but I'd like to be smack bang in the middle of the range before I start really concentrating on my toning. That WILL be gone by week 4.

- After week 4, I'll be moving to Lean & Strong to tone myself up and get strong. I'm already doing some weights on most of my gym visits, but I have a lot of toning to do, especially around my middle.

- I'm going to run the half marathon in the Melbourne Marathon Festival. By the end of round 2, I'll be running 3 times a week and able to run at least 18km.

- I'm committing to clean eating. Watching my portions, eating slightly less fruit, replacing them with more vegetables, and only wholemeal breads and pastas, brown rice when I do have carbs.
Plenty more protein, and of course that pesky, recurring promise to myself - little to no chocolate!
I'm not going to do the 12 weeks dry like some choose to do, because the amount of alcohol I do drink is fairly insignificant anyway.

- Mindset wise, I have an issue with letting myself be supported when I'm weak or need help. I seem to prefer to have a tantrum or a couple of really low days instead of letting people support me or help me out.
For this round, I'm going to let myself be a little more vulnerable - and that's going to be a huge struggle for me!
Of course I'm going to continue to show support for my 12WBT family and their struggles and journeys, but I feel like I probably need to be a little more open with them about mine - that WILL happen this round.

Finally, and probably the hardest for me...
- I'm going to let go of putting ALL of my self worth into the number on the scales.
I've done the hard yards and I've worked my butt off last round to move the weight, and I did it.
I'm 18kg lighter than when I started and I know a lot more now than I did then. I know that it doesn't happen overnight, I know that sometimes you body doesn't do what you want it to when you want it to, I know that some weeks you'll see no loss then the week after it will fall off, I know about plateu's.
I know ALL of this and still sometimes if I don't see the number I want to see, it feels like the end of the world to me, even though I'm sitting here wearing a size 8 jumper as I write this, that wouldn't have fit past my shoulders when I started this in October last year.
The thing with moving to Lean & Strong is that there really is little to no weight loss involved - it's all about muscles and toning and strength, so I'm going to have to get used to not seeing the big changes.
This round is about healthy and strong, not skinny.

SO there it is, all on the line.
Something to keep me accountable and something to come back to when I lose sight of why I'm doing all of this (and beleive me, that happens every few weeks)!

Thanks for stopping by - would love to hear YOUR current goals!

xxx
SJ

The Final Tally.

Well, my 12 weeks is up.
And I'm glad to report that I made it!
I didn't quit half way, I didn't stumble and fall and not get back up.
I actually made a change in my life.
One that everyone around me can see and that I am slowly learning to get my head around!

Of course there are before & after photos, but I wont subject you to me in my undies, instead I'll gladly share my accomplishments with you!

I got up early, did my measurements, weighed myself and diligently went onto the 12WBT site yesterday.
I typed in the numbers, pressed enter and here is what came up...

I knew I was shrinking, but until the computer did it's little calculations and spat out a number, I didn't realise quite how much.
Iam now 48cm smaller than I was in February.
That's just under half a metre! I am HALF A BLOODY METRE smaller than I was in February!
As far as weight, another 10.2kg and 12.6% is gone (for a total of 19.8kg and 21.85% since October).
That's nearly a quarter of me, GONE! Dress sizes, I'm down 2 and Jeans sizes, I'm down 4.
I just bought myself a couple of size 8 jumpers online and I have absolutely no concerns about them not fitting!

I don't intend on stopping now - Round 2 will be Lean & Strong, toning up the new small me, and in the meantime I have a big party at the Collins St Ballroom AND a Michelle Bridges workout to keep the flame ignited!

It's the best feeling knowing that I can and have done this, that I can and will keep doing this.
That this strength and determination is there in me.

And that I'm doing it all pretty bloody well if I do say so myself!

xxx
SJ

One Little Photo

It's funny how long it takes for your head ot catch up with what your body is doing.
I'm hearing the same thing from everyone I speak to - looking in the mirror and still seeing the same, bigger version of yourself, walking into stores and still automatically picking up larger sizes than you now fit into, generally still thinking of yourself as that person who wasn't as fit and healthy and capable as the person you've now become.
It's a strnge phenomenon.
I guess we all have this perception that once we've become the verson of ourselves that we want to be, we'll walk with a swagger and our heads held high, but so many people I know are now BECOMING that person and are still just as afraid or shy or self conscious, maybe even more so!

I was at a warehouse sale for one of my favourite fitness clothing brands last week.
I bought a pair of their pants the day I joined my gym last October in a size US10 (that's an AU14). They were roomy, but comfortable.
A few months ago I'd gone back there and bought a top, this time in an 8.
It fit nicely but had since become a little bit big around my hips and stomach, but do you think I could accept the fact that I might be small enough to fit into a 6 when I was shopping last week?
Not on your life.
With my boyfriend waiting diligently outside (bless him), I painstakingly (and unnecessarily) waited in line for the communal change room and marvelled as I tried on a variety of sizes only to find that of course I fit into 6's now. Even a couple of 4's!
Of course, this wasn't enough proof for me, they must have been cut bigger than most other brands.
Girl logic! What?!

My proof came the next day when I went to a football match with my mum.
It's an annual event for us, and a tradition that we take a photo of ourselves together.
When I looked at the screen and saw this:

I realised that I actually HAVE lost all that weight! Who woulda thought?!
Everyone but me apparently!
Ignoring my tired eyes, I realised I look thin.
More importantly, I realised I look healthy and fit - most importantly, I realised that's because I now AM healthy and fit.
It was an AMAZING feeling.
I walked in the Relay for Life in the 18 hours following, I wore my size 6 shorts and I felt fit and strong and happy, and it helped me to conquer over 60km.

Of course I went home the next day and looked in the mirror and still didn't see the same girl I'd seen in the photo less than 24 hours earlier but I'm getting there - slowly but surely - and once I do, look out, I'll be walking with a swagger the likes of which have never been seen!

xxx
SJ

Who is This Girl?!

Alright, alright, alright.
So that whole 'blogging my journey weekly' thing didn't happen - oops!
Not to fear though, my lack of blog consistency has not been reflected in my exercise, eating or general living.
Which is a bonus!

To update on the main stuff, the first stuff everyone asks about, here are the numbers...
Since I last posted in week three, I've had two milestone weeks, where I've taken my measurements, done my fitness tests and tracked my improvement.

I've dropped (never to pick up again) another 7.3kg (for a total of 16.9)!
I've said goodbye to around 35cm from my body!
I've bought size 9 jeans (that are now getting a little loose)!
I can now:
Do 15 more pushups in a minute than previously (and now on my toes).
Run a km a minute and a half faster than previously.
Do any style of unweighted sit up you present me with.
Wall sit for over 2 minutes (although there is still a lot of wincing).

But the changes I'm seeing are more than that, they're in my head.
Sometimes I catch myself doing something that 'old' Skye never would have - getting up at 5:30 to go to the gym, fitting several runs in over the Easter break or choosing NOT to eat chocolate (huh?!) and I am PROUD of myself for it. I'm even doing a second Relay for Life this week - I've become almost addicted to this healthy lifestyle.
Of course I've had a few little slip ups, mishaps if you will, but all in all I've overcome it and I am SO happy with my results! I still find it so hard to beleive that it's me who has put in the hard yards and achieved this.

So I'll be back to blog again, I have plenty to share and say, but for now, you'll have to excuse me, I have a run to complete!

xxx
SJ

12WBT Blog Challenge - Playing Catch Up - Pt 1

So I signed up for the 12WBT Blog Challenge, but given my (very) slack track record recently toward my blog, I'm only just getting to answer these questions.

Week 1: Introductions:

Tell us a little bit about yourself. What makes you, you?
Ok, I'm Skye. I'm 27 (huh? when did that happen?!) and I'm a Marketing Coordinator. I have degrees in Journalism and Fashion & Textile design and I'm a crafter (scrapbooker to be exact), although I haven't had much time for anything much between life, exercise, cooking, working and sleeping lately!
I live in the inner suburbs of Melbourne with my gorgeous partner Josh. He's a barista and restaurant supervisor and the love of my life. Our relationship has been a very passionate whirlwind, but an exciting and rewarding one.

Why did you decide to do the 12WBT?
I joined the 12WBT because I hgad started my own health and fitness journey and was seeing very slow results, but knew that I could learn so much more and see so much stronger results if I had the knowledge that Mish shares with this program. I knew a few people who had done it and I had seen first hand the difference it can make in someone's life if they put the work in.
 

What are you hoping to achieve through the program?
I guess just to learn more about nutrition and fitness, to gain friends who have the same mindset and can offer support, because most of the people I know don't necessarily 'get' this new part of my life, it's not that they're not supportive, they're just not equipped with the tools to help me or contribute to this part of me.
Also, I'd like to lose another 8-10kg (I'm happy with where I'm at now, but this would be my dream, perfect weight).

Why have you decided to blog about the 12WBT? What will be the main focus (eg, food, exercise, a bit of everything?)
I'm a long time blogger anyway. I've always been a writer (with a fancy degree and all), so blogging has always given me an outlet to explore different aspects of my life - craft, relationships, fashion (I really need to get stuck into that section of the blog), and now fitness. I'll be fusicing on all of it, it'll be a document of my journey, things I'm learning, the whole kit and caboodle!

How will you be exercising this round? Gym, home, outdoors or a mixture?
I'm a gym exerciser. I dont have a license, so I walk everywhere, and I know I burn a few extra calories that way, but if I'm just at home, I know I won't be motivated. I love the gym, I love sticking my headphones in and just running, I love the rush afterwards, I love the classes, I love putting my weights up and setting new challenges, and I just don't have that at home!

What is your greatest strength that will help you?
I have a pretty steely determination. As I've grown older, I've become the sort of person that once I decided I CAN do something and I WANT to do something, I pretty much set about DOING it, and 90% of the time (I'm still human), doing it to the best of my ability.
I'm not really a confident person, but I am expert at giving myself fairly harsh talkings to, and I'm a good learner so I figure out a game plan pretty quickly.

What are you afraid of? 
I'm afraid of failing to reach my goal. I think we all are, it's human nature.
I was going to say I'm afraid that it'll all be too hard and I'll go off and sook, but I'm continually proving to myself that I'm better than that.

What are you looking forward to the most over the next 12 weeks? 
This is going to sound superficial and silly, but buying my finale party dress. Not just because it means a new dress (although that excites me no end), but because it means celebrating everything that I've worked so hard for. And I am working my butt off (literally)!

What is your downfall? Food? Exercise? How will you overcome this?
My biggest downfall is my mindset toward my weight. I can exercise for hours and love it and get the rush. I can eat nutritionally, I love the food. But when it comes to weighing myself, I lay in bed fretting, giving myself a pep talk, and if I record a smaller loss than I wanted to, I sulk and I'm hard on myself and I push myself far too hard and I burn out. The solution is to be more reasonable and realistic, and I know this and I'm working on it, but old habits die hard, so this one is to be continued!
 

If you had to pick one word to motivate you over the next 12 weeks, what would you choose?
Just 'health' I think. That's what it's all about for me. A healthy body and a healthy mind, and getting to a stage where this doesn't consume me, but is just a part of my everyday liestyle and something I don't have to think so much about.

And so, that's me! That's the beginning of my journey, a little bit around the wrong way since my journey is a couple of months old, but my journey none the less!
Thanks for reading! Part 2 to come soon!

xx
SJ

Monday

Monday is when it starts.

Pre-season that is.

I've bitten the bullet, I've swallowed my pride and I've joined the Michelle Bridges 12WBT. 
So far, I am loving it. I wasn't sure that it'd be for me - I'm not as big as a lot of the people I know who had signed up and I didn't know who the program was aimed at, and granted, there are people there who need to lose more weight than me, who dont exercise as regularly as I do, but there are also a whole lot there who are fitter and healthier - it's for everybody!

I'm excited about it and nervous as hell at the same time!

So far, I've been going to the gym by myself, and trying to eat healthier off my own bat. And I've done OK.
I've lost 8.2kg, that's over 10% of my body weight on my first day at the gym, and I am proud of myself.
I still enjoy chocolate and wine and the occasional pizza binge but all in all, I'm getting to where I want to be.

Most importantly, I didn't do this for weight loss,
I did it for fitness.
I want to be able to participate in a mini triathlon and a half marathon, and the best thing is that I can FEEL myself getting fitter.
I can feel myself getting stronger, going faster, lasting longer.
Sure it's baby steps after being sick and letting my fitness and health slide a bit, Rome wasn't built in a day, and it's steps none the less!

So bring on Monday, bring on Mish and bring on more intense training

Rome wasn't built in a day - but perhaps it was in 12 weeks?!