Just a Human, Being.

I was walking home one Friday night recently.
It was about 9:30 at night, and it was cold and dark.
I got to the apartment building just before mine and a gentleman jumped out from behind a tree eating a bread roll.
(I use 'jumped' probably as an exaggeration. In reality, he just sort of appeared.)
"Do you want some bread?" he asked.
I smiled politely, said "No, thank you" and kept walking.
"Are you sure?" he persisted.
I looked back.
He was wearing an old hooded jumper, with the hood over his head and ripped jeans.
I judged him and walked a little faster.
"Really, we have plenty to share" I suddenly heard a female voice call out.

It turned out that this couple are given crates full of bread from the local Bakers Delight when they close on a Friday night and distribute it they around the community; to churches, to the hungry and homeless and if they have some left, to a few of their friends who happen to be my neighbours.
They gave me a plastic bag full of fresh bread and french sticks and sweet buns, along with their mobile phone number and told me to call them if I ever wanted more.
They didn't ask for anything in return, not even my apartment number to make a delivery.
As I was walking away, the man said to me "There are still good people in the world you know, everyone is just putting up higher walls."

That comment messed with my head.

As a country girl I grew up trusting everyone.
Possibly a little bit too much.
Eveyone just knew everyone in my small town.
Mum often says that when I was a kid, she'd turn around to find me gone in the supermarket, and find me sitting on a bench talking to some old man I had never met, as though we were old friends.
That's how far my trust in other people extended.
But the bread man's comment made me realise that at some point that had changed.
When did I stop having faith in others?
And when did I stop just being and doing for the joy of being and doing.

After a bit of soul searching, I realised that it wasnt when my heart got broken for the first time, it wasn't because of any particular news story I head read, drug addict or homeless person I had witnessed, nor any job I had hated.
It was just because I had gotten older, lived, seen and known things that I didn't know then.
As a grown up, you have deadlines to meet, you feel like you have people to impress, you hear too many things about the unfavourable people in the world and you begin to become untrusting and you just kind of stop being that open hearted kid.

It's my personal mission right now to try and rediscoverthat side of myself.
I'm going to reopen my heart.
There is that lame old addage to love like you've never been hurt and dance like nobody is watching. I think people lost the meaning of that after seeing it printed on too many inspirational calendars and their mothers' facebook pages, but it makes complete sense.

The way I see it is, if we open our hearts and people reject it, that's their karma.
If we never open our hearts in the first place, that's ours.
Some of the most joyful and memorable moments in my life to date have been hen I just let go and let myself be myself.

I was having a conversation with a scrapbooking friend over the weekend also, and I said to her that I most like my work when I am just being creative and trying new things and playing.
No deadlines, no stress, no trying to impress anybody, no commissions - just creating.
It's a similar thing.
I sat down to create a page last night with that in mind and absolutely loved the outcome:


  
 
    For the first time in months, I am once more loving the thing that used to make me so happy.

If opening my heart and being and doing and smiling extends to my creativity, it is entirely likely it will extend to every other part of my life and I cannot wait to see where that will lead!

xxxx
Skye

Comments

[Sar W]

Very deep Miss Skye, but its made me think too. Thanks hun. xoxo

[Tara]

Your words are always so amazing Skye, I love the way you get what you are trying to say across...
Loving all your latest pages too, they are SO STUNNING!!!

:-)

[Felicity]

That is so from the heart.. I love your blog sooo much.. :)
that page is STUNNING :) x

[marelle]

The most beautiful Skye you bring tears to my eyes, you are such an amazing woman, friend, sister, I am so proud to call you friend.
hugsxxxxxxx

[Raquel]

Wow Skye, after reading this post I went home and made sure I read it with Clint too...so true and I guess sad about how we change without even realizing - jumping to conclusions and making assumptions with out even knowing someone, just from a single glance. I think this was a bit of a wake up and hope that I can try to have more faith in the world around us ....thanks - really enjoyed reading this post xx

[Kerry Murray]

Skye this is a fantastic piece of writing here.It is true we do not have enough faith in ourselves or others.I love this page too just fab take care Kerry xx