Words

More Polly Goodness

I've been scrapping again!
I was very lucky to have a pyjama day yesterday and get this baby finished off.
You know when you've got something sitting there waiting to be finished and you know it's there and you want to get the time to complete it, but it just seems to keep slipping away? Well that's where I was at.
But yesterday I had no excuses, I was in my PJ's all day thanks to a big Saturday night and Josh had gone to work, it was just me and a free afternoon!
Speaking of Josh, he's the subject of this particular page...

Boy & Beer.
I'm sure anyone reading this who isn't entirely up to date with their indue music bands won't quite get the reference (there's a band called Boy & Bear for those of you playing at home), but I had the title picked way back when I first saw the photo!
Here's some detail shots...




This Polly Scrap kit I've had the honor of playing with is a real joy!
Everything just works together, there's none of that looking at something that comes with the kit and wondering what you're going to do with it like you get with some others.
So much fun!

The June kit gets released soon too and I'm itching to see what's in it!
Kayla released this sneak peek snap shot a couple of days ago - don't the colours just look DELISH?!

Pretty right?!
And a bit of Hambly never goes astray!
If you want one though, I'd get on over as soon as they're released as they go pretty quickly~

I'll be back before the week's out with another project to show - in the meantime, happy Monday and have a great week!

xxx
SJ

Guest Designing!

No, really!
I got asked to guest design for Polly Scrap Kits this month.
And I said yes, partially because Kayla Renee is an absolute doll, partly because the kits are goddamn gorgeous (I mean, have a look at this)...


and partly because I needed a creative kick up the butt!
And with product as gorgeous as that, I got it!

So here's my first page...


 I was hoping to get it up before Mother's Day, but was having a few typepad issues.
My beautiful mummy and me!
Here's a few detail shots:

"... throughout all of my highs, all of my lows, all of my wins & losses, all of my accomplishments, every one, she's been there, cheering me on, picking me up, loving me, she is my mum, she is my all..."

This is a seriously gorgeous kit, full of Heidi Swapp and Basic Grey and Studio Calico, and all of those yummy brands that we all love so much! How gorgeous are those little wooden lady silhouettes?!
Unfortunately, it's sold out this month, but Kayla has a knack for putting them together, so have a look at her shop for the few that are left from previous months, and keep an eye out for next month's kit too!

She even does mini kits, also full of lush goodness, that are just perfection!

I'm nearly finished a second page now too, so be sure to keep an eye out for it, coming in a day or so!
Thanks for checking in gorgeous people!

xxx
SJ

My Poppy.

Let me introduce you to somebody who is really important to me.
This is my Poppy.His name is Gerry.
 
My Poppy is my main man.
He is at the top of my list; even higher than Gerard Butler or Ryan Reynolds.
Even higher than Ryan Reynolds as Green Lantern (those of you who know me know that's a big deal), because my Poppy is my real superhero.
He always has been.

I was raised by a single mother, so my grandparents have always been a huge presence in my life.
My Nan and my Pop have always been there to help out and I love them both very much.
Nan was definitely always the one that 'got' me better than anyone emotionally, but my relationship with my poppy has always been a very special one.
I have always been his 'Possum' and he has always been my Superman.

As a kid, I spent a lot of time with Pop.
When he wasn't working, he was always out in the garden while Kane and I would be kicking the footy around or playing some form of backyard game.
This is where he taught me a lot of my lessons (usually after some form of girly tanty about Kane hitting me too hard with the footy or about not wanting to admit I was bowled out in cricket) about honesty, integrity, strength and just generally not being a sook.
When Pop had friends over for a beer, I'd sit with them at the table and listen to them chat, if I was lucky, I'd get to have the last sip of Pop's beer.
I remember he used to carry a keyring around with Pixi photos of Kane and I back to back and the words 'I Love Poppy'.

As a teenager I remember a girl coming up to me at school and telling me she'd recently met my Pop at the hospital.
I asked her how she knew it was him and she told me that once he'd seen that her school uniform was the same as mine, he had asked her if she knew me and continued to list all of the achievements of mine that he was proud of.
He'd never tell me straight out to my face, being of the tough love generation and all, but I would hear him boasting to people about my school grades or that I was the lead in a play or that I'd won an award.
Of course we had our arguments, I was a bratty tenage girl and I was (of course) always right.
He was stubborn and hard headed and questioned the opinions I formed, but he has always been proud, even of the smallest accomplishment.

As an adult, it's continued that way.
His pride has extended to my moving out of home, to my getting a decent job, to my going overseas for the first time. I remember mum telling me last year that she had heard him boasting to someone in the local shopping centre that I had entered into fashions on the field at the local race day, no big feat, but one that he felt needed sharing nonetheless.
But more than that, his pride extends to my friends and their accomplishments too. Whenever they visit to see my grandparents with me, he asks them about their lives and what's new with them and I can see that he is proud of their acheivements too.
And after everytime he sees them, he reminds me how good a friends I have and tells me not to lose them.
He is 'Pop' to them as well.

And to be honest, as an adult, I've grown to realise that I am proud of him.
I have watched his overwhelming strength and dedication in the face of my grandmother's deteriorating state.
When I was young, I always thought he would be lost without her, but he has proven himself beyond even what I used to think he was capable of.
He cares for her, he cooks, he cleans, he makes sure she is comfortable, he loses sleep with concern, and until very recently, he did it all while refusing any sort of releif or help; a little bit out of pride, but mostly out of love.

 I adore that man with all of me, but more than that, I admire him.

Recently, I've been thinking about my Poppy a lot.
If I don't call or visit him every couple of weeks, I am bound to be told off for it, and last Friday he told me that he had been to have tests on his heart and that it's pretty much only working 50% and that the doctors said he still has 5 to 10 years in him.
For a man in his mid 70's, this still equates to a decent innings, but it is the idea that he has an expiry date that stings. The idea that my poppy can't leap tall buildings in a single bound, that he isn't invincible; the idea that he is fallible just like the rest of us mere mortals, absolutely flattens me.

In a way, I feel like life has gone back on an unspoken deal we had.
I was supposed to end up a decent person and in return, he was supposed to be around forever to make sure I stayed on track and tell me I was doing a good job.
I feel like I kept my end of the bargain.

I don't know how I'm going to cope when that 5 or 10 years is up, but I DO know that in the meantime, I plan to make him the proudest Poppy alive, because I am so proud to have him as my grandfather, humanity and all.

xxx
SJ

2010: A Lyrical Review

Those of you who have read my blog for some time know I have one main passion.
Music.
So since everyone has started doing their yearly review posts, and since I'm not sure how many more chances I'm going to have to write before 2011 is here (I'll try but it's hectic around here!), I thought I'd put my own spin on it.

2010 was a big year for me. Big is an understatement.
I'm fairly sure when I look back on my life, this will be one of the years that defines me.
I learned more about myself this year than I had in the 25.5 preceeding it.
But there was always a song or a lyric that I could take solace in or relate to, through everything.
I know it's cliche'd but that's why Penny Lane says "And if you ever get lonely, you just go to the record store and visit all your friends" in Almost Famous.
Music reminds you that there is always someone who gets you.
Really gets you.
Always.

Every year I set myself a song.
My theme for the year.
It's a song that I go back to through the year. And you can always tell where I was at emotionally and mentally when January rolled around by the song that I choose.
For 2010, it wasn't an extremely genius or epic song by any means, but it was the right fit:
"Calm down, deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead of running around
And pulling all your threads and breaking yourself up
If it's a broken part, replace it
If it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it
And hold your own, know your name
And go your own way
And everything will be fine.
Everything will be fine."
Jason Mraz - Details in the Fabric.

It turned out to probably be far more apt that I had anticipated.

In 2010, I fought my body. And I won.
"Though I may be relatively young,
I hope in the final moments I hear every song I've ever sung. At once."
Washington - Underground.

You have all read about my kidneys, you have all read about my treatment.
I found this song after I already knew I was healthy and going to be OK.
But when I heard it - niagara falls frankie angel.
(If you get that reference, please comment and tell me! I often fear that my brother and I are the only people in the world who know what we're on about.)
I listened to it probably 40-50 times over the course of three days and it helped to heal me.
Not in the way that all of my treatment healed me, but it helped me deal with what I had just been through.
I hadn't really thought about mortality through everything, it's strange that way.
All I thought about was that I had to get better.
This song made me realise the enormity of it all and made me so grateful for being back on track.

In 2010, I broke up with my best friend.
"After all that we've been through, I know we're cool."
Gwen Stefani - Cool.

I tried to find a lyric for this that wouldnt hurt my cred so much
(do I have cred? I dont know. It just sounded cool in my head.)
Fact is, I could give you 101 other lyrics, but none of them sum it up like this little one does.
Jesper and I were talking on the phone last night - we were discussing a random handful of topics, as we usually do, Wikileaks, Gene Simmons vs Whitlams, mixed game show phrases, catching up for dinner this week, and I realised we still fit. We are still best friends.
Sure, he still frustrates the hell out of me at times, and I know it's vice versa, but I'm not sure we will ever not be part of each others lives.
We probably could have parted ways a couple of years ago, as a few of you know, but we wouldn't have had what we have now, we would have properly parted ways completely and not stayed friends.
I'm proud of what Jesper and I acheived this year. 
And I'm proud of reaching 'grown up' status through that.

In 2010, I went through a very low, depressed stage.
"You said I am as constant as a northern star.
And I said, "Constantly in the darkness, where's that at? If you want me I'll be in the bar."
Joni Mitchell - A Case of You.

Most people don't know it, but I guess when you're depressed you become a great actress.
From April until about July, whenever I was alone, I was crying.
Sometimes when I wasn't alone, I was crying.
I was crying in the shower, on the couch, in bed, in the bathroom at work, even once on the train.
I didn't want to be around people, but I didn't want to be alone, and it was only when I got sick that I snapped out of it. 
It forced me to prioritise and find perspective, and cope.
This might sound ridiculous to mostly everyone who reads this, but being as sick as I was probably saved me.
I don't want to go into it in too much detail, but that lyric pretty much says it all.

In 2010, I realised my blessings.
"I may not always love you, but as long as there are stars above you...
God only knows what I'd be without you"
Beach Boys - God Only Knows.

You know how people always say that when you are going through the hardest times, it separates your real friends from the rest?
Well this year my friends were separated from no-one.
I had, and continue to have, the most amazing support from everyone around me.
Family, friends, aquanitances, everyone. 
I had the right people around at the right time and everyone helped me to make sense of what was going on.
They helped me to get out of bed in the morning, helped me to get rid of the tears, helped me to deal with life and helped me to move the fuck on, which was exactly what I needed sometimes.
Some of you reading this were among that group.
You may know who you are, but you probably don't know how much I appreciate it.
Hell, you might not even know you did anything at all.
But thank you.

In 2010, I did a LOT of soul searching.
"I have to strengthen up my little heart, find my own way, light my torch and sparkle my own spark."
Sally Seltmann - On The Borderline.

I realised I'm not so bad. I'd be friends with me.
I can't even stress how long it's taken to reach that point, somewhere in the vicinity of 26 years, and I can't say I've completely figured it out.
There are still days I avoid looking in the mirror in case I see something I don't like, days I avoid talking to anyone if I can help it in case I say something I'm going to over analyse later on, days when I just decided I'm not cool/pretty/funny/talented/'insert nice adjective here' enough.
But the bulk of them I'm ok with me. I'm a good person and a loving person, and all of the other loving and caring people in my life are testament to that.
That's enough for me right now.

In 2010, I met some sweet people.
""I know what's on your mind, there will be time for that too, if you hang with me."
Robyn - Hang with Me.

I started dating again, and that was a BIG step.
I met Jesper when I was 20, so I've never really been a single adult.
I've been seeing one guy for a little over a month now.
We've still got our training wheels on and I don't know if it will be anything, but he is sweet and even if it's nothing, it has been good for me to step outside of my comfort zone, with my heart planted firmly in my throat, and discover myself in a completely different light.

As for 2011, my song isn't quite locked in yet.
I've got a few in mind, but there are still a few weeks to think about that. 
I do feel, however, like it's going to be a happy one, and I've got 2010 to thank for that.

xxoo
Skye